Oh boy... It's a boy!!!

Whenever I find a new adoption blog that I like, I immediately gravitate towards the the day when the family gets their referral.  I  read every word trying to savor it.  I make an effort to understand the emotion behind the news and to put myself in their situation.  Of course;  the main idea was to prepare to our day, so that the emotions wouldn't take us totally by surprise.  Well....all I can tell you about this "preparation" is that:  It doesn't work.  :)   Sorry..
As I came to understand yesterday, there is no way to prepare to the river, but not just any river... the Amazon river, or even better; the OCEAN of emotions happening. However, this must have been one of the coolest, most amazing days of my life and having no preparation made it even better!

So this is our referral day story: 

Once upon a time there was a normal day.  It was December 28th and it started like any other Christmas holiday break day:  late. We woke up at  about 8:30,  enjoyed the fact that didn't have to jump out of bed right away for about 15-30 minutes,  played being "quiet" - unsuccessfully by the way - so the dog wouldn't come to ask for food, realized the dog was smarter than that, and finally rolled out of bed. 
We had a very lazy morning and after a shower I somehow ended up opening baby Cristancho's Christmas present and getting it out of the box.  We had bought Fisher Price's baby farm, so I played with the little animals and quietly - and sadly- heard the cow, donky and horse sounds.  I say sadly because there was no way, I repeat, no way... we were getting our baby before the end of the year.  However, we would be getting our baby in 2011 and the hope and promise of that, was enough. 

I was deep in my thoughts when I heard Tavo's cell phone ringing.  I thought that was pretty weird but didn't make much of it.  Next thing I hear is Tavo screaming: "What? What?". Then I  hear his steps running up the stairs. He puts the speaker on his cel phone up and I hear my - very upset mom- saying that she's been trying to call me for like an hour!! (which in real time was probably 15 minutes),  and how I never answer my cel phone (which in reality is not more than twice since I own a cel phone) and.... this is where she gets my complete and undivided attention: that I should call the lady at the ICBF... because they have a baby for us.  And that's when the shaking started. - A what? a baby? a baby??

- Okay, Okay... what's the number I'm calling right now...  - Nervous, shaking me says. 
- 6 something, something ...  call me back as soon as you can - Angry, probably shaking mom answers.

She gave me the lady's number so that I can call her, we hang up, and  when I tried to dial the number... I forgot how to use the freaking phone!!!  Pause:  You might think an engineer has learned some time in her previous life to use the phone, but seriously... I just didn't know how to dial... "Tavo... how do I dial? how do I dial?".  Yes.  You could say I lost it.  :)

After Tavo (and I ) had a good laugh, we dialed the number and someone on the other end answered. Next thing that comes out of my mouth is: "Can I please speak to the lady that talked to my mom?" - Uh? Pause number two:  Ok people... really... I am normally smarter than that... but everything was short circuited and I wasn't making much sense... however, after blabbing some more about the adoption and the baby, and my mom, and the "lady", I got to speak with the right person.  She confirmed: We were asigned a baby boy and his picture and other information was already send to Tavo's e-mail.

Pause number 3.  Some important information about baby Cristancho (here I go with my lists again):

1. He was born on July 1, 2010.  - Yes! Canada Day. 
2. He loves to be bathed or showered.  - Good thing because we have like two dozen bath toys from ducks to Nemo ready for him.
3. He's sleeping through the night already but doesn't like to wear pijamas.  
4. He  likes to play with toys that make sounds like maracas.  - A future musician?

After we read the rest of the information we got the files with the pictures and that's when I got to meet my beautiful, chubby, smiley baby Cristancho.  I actually think he is the cutest baby boy I have ever seen and against all my self control I was just weeping and shaking.  I could just not stop looking, not stop shaking.

So after I regained control I call angry mom back. Angry mom wasn't angry anymore.  Angry mom had seen the picture I had just send and was on some kind of information overload. She managed to say: "He's beautiful" - long silence.  That was my cue to change the subject so that we could talk about the legal stuff and the process. 

Next step: share the happiness with the world. Called other abuelitos and abuelitas (grandmas & grandpas), uncles, cousins, adoption buddies and of course; published the news on the fastest network: Facebook.  By the way, thanks so much to those of you who have written messages or called... we've gotten answers from friends all over the world!! Needless to say,  everybody is ecstatic. 

I would love to share Baby Cristancho's picture with you today but Tavo and I decided to wait until the official documents get to Alberta Youth Services and go through the formal acceptance process.  Our plan is to pick up our baby in about a month, as soon as the legal process is done.  More to come. 

So for those of you who read my last blog about believing... I think I got my Christmas miracle, and my 2010 lesson.  Mental note: Things really do happen when you least expect them, all you have to do is to be patient and believe.  Just when you hit your low, something wonderful happens.

Oh boy!!! we have a boy!!!

Until the next post, 

Luz J.

PS. Santa rocks!!

A word about Christmas & Believing

One of the things I noticed this year (which I never noticed before) was the huge amount of Christmas decorations with the word "Believe" in them.  Initially I thought the word had a religious meaning, but then I realized it was, in most cases, referencing believing in Santa Clause.  You know... the nice, chubby, Ho Ho Ho guy that comes to your house through the fire place with all the wrapped gifts.

I also think  that beyond Santa,  the word means believing in the Christmas Spirit.  Just to clarify; this "spirit"  is not like a flying, ghostly, translucent thing, (remember this is Christmas not Halloween) but instead, the Christmas spirit is a way of being or a way of behaving.  It means that at least during Christmas time, people are supposed to be nice to others,  it means to remember that not everybody is as lucky as some of us are.  Some don't have proper meals, and a roof over their heads, much less Christmas presents. 

I must say I kinda of like this "spirit" more than I do like Santa.  I have nothing against chubby guys dressed in fuzzy red clothes but it seems to me than believing in Santa is about receiving but believing in the Christmas Spirit is more about giving.  Either way,  the key word is to Believe.  And so I google.  

Be-lieve:  "to have confidence in the truth, the existence, or the reliability of something, although without absolute proof that one is right in doing so". 


And believe me... I am getting somewhere here.  So stick with me for a bit longer.  

You see,  this past week my friend Alex and her family who have been our "adoption buddies" got assigned a baby girl.  They got the news just before Christmas, just like they always believed they would.  Even when they knew their chances were less than slim, still, they believed. There you go...an absolute perfect example followed by the wonderful gift of a daughter. How cool is that?  One day,  you are a family of three and the next,  you weak up to a family of four. 

And believe me (again) I was so happy for them when I heard the news... that I literally got the goose bumps.  And then I got cold and started shaking... a little taste of my body's response to a - hopefully - near future news of  our own.  And then, later in the night after the call was over and I got warm again;  I got sad.  So sad at our own lack of news. And then of course,  so surprised at being able to be so happy for our friends and so sad at the same time!


So I talked to my all-time/ the best/ super duper personal psychologist,  i.e the wonderful man that sleeps next to me every night. He said he believed that our time is not right yet. He said he knows (without absolute proof) that when it is the right time... we'll get the call... or e-mail, or whatever.  He also said we all need to be ready (and by us he meant the three or us). Next morning I talked to my mom,  and she said that I have to believe that this is going to happen sooner than later.  That the right baby is waiting for each family and that this "is going to happen" and it is my time to have faith. 

Faith : "belief that is not based on proof". 

Notice the coincidence? 

So why is it that everybody seems to be able to easily believe and have faith but me?  
Believe or not to believe... that is the question.  

And if you do decide to believe, then how exactly do you go about it?.  Maybe the problem is my type A personality and the fact that I've learned to rely on myself to succeed at the things I want to achieve. But then, is that really a problem? Why is it that your strength suddenly becomes your weakness?. Get my drift? 

The good thing is that after the soul searching and the therapy conversations with hubby and mom,  I really found it in my heart to understand that even through the struggles of my own some times believing, sometimes out of patience not-so-much;  this is really out of my control and will only happen when it will.  That is as easy as that. 

Also, having our friends get their baby first has its advantages! Now they'll teach us about the process, the what to do's and what not to do's.  Alex will let me know about the best baby stores in Colombia (ha!) and we will also get to live the full range of emotions from a safe distance.  Quite honestly, this will help us prepare so that we will not freak whenever all this starts happening to us.   : ) 

 So to finalize today's blog my own personal letter to Santa. 

Dear Santa: 

I truly think I deserve to be in your nice list this year.  First of all, I didn't have any major fight with anyone at the office in 2010.  I actually like most of the people. 
I know I can be a pain to my dear husband some times but I think overall I am not that bad.  I cook eatable food now and then (and he eats it! - by the way, he should get a present for that) and  I've never forget to feed the dog and the cat.  The plants are also doing better.  Hopefully I'll keep it up in the summer when is time to take care of the garden.
I'm so good this year that I'm even saying hi to my lady neighbor. Also, Tavo and I no longer gossip about her purple hair.  So for this Christmas, I really want that you help me let go & believe.
Oh! and also please tell my friend Alex that me feeling sad the other day has nothing to do with me feeling super happy all the other days. 
Actually Santa,  it has all to do with you not helping me believe.  So it's your fault. 

:) 


Luz J. 

PS. In the mean time you can send us a little monster as a "lend" present until we actually get baby Cristancho. (Ha ha!) 

So Much to Tell... So little Time!!

I've been trying to write for some time now... really... but it has just been so busy at work - which means I'm "pooped" by the end of the day and in no mood to keep looking at a computer screen .  And there is so much to write about! So I'll have to break it in two blogs.  Anyway... on top of all the work,  there is the holidays! I  thought I was prepared and had pretty much everything ready, and still couldn't find an hour of quiet,  sitting down time to write! The cleaning, the food, the guests, the novena (which will be the theme of a future post).  I wonder how people with kids get it all done!!!!  Oh wait... I know... they give the kids to people that need some "training" before their actual kid gets here. There's an idea: You need some " job experience" so there you go! have the little 3 monsters for a sleep over while we go to get the presents - (and of course, have some adult time for ourselves)! Genius!

And so it happened two weekends ago. Friday I was so stressed out (remember the industrial goods and services Christmas situation that happened at my work desk?) that decided it was spa time for hubby and me.  So I booked a couple's massage for Saturday morning,  which by the was beyond awesome,  followed by a short walk under a nice snowfall; ending with dinner at a beautiful french bistro. By the end of the day I was not walking but levitating... on cloud nine... ahhhhhhhhh so relaxed!!!! And then the kids came.  It was over. 

Don't get me wrong... we love the kids, and love to have them over, but I wouldn't classify our time together with the word "relaxing"... if you know what I mean. So we all did what we usually do together whenever they are here to spend the evening: Have Hawaiian pizza (they like the pineapple) and watch a movie together. The plan seems to work every time!  And as a bonus, Tavo decided to light the fireplace, which seemed to be totally entertaining! By 9 the little monsters were in bed. 

The fun started next morning when it was shower time. It was a two strategy operation:

1. Get the monsters clean. 
2. Go outside for little while. 

The objective:  Go for a short walk - hoping to have them burn some energy outside, as opposed to inside with the dog.  

Well,  and so the mission started.  First, there was Maria Jose, which was a piece of cake.  Here the evidence. All lady like bathed - not the hair of course - you can't go out to the cold with the hair wet... "it'll break" - she reminded me.

And then there was Ana which also went on her own and had a shower.  Piece of cake (2).  And just when you think it's mission accomplished, the little monsters showed their real weapon.  The little one: Jose Chiquitin. 

First, he decided he really didn't want a shower... so it took us like15 minutes to actually get him in the bath tub to which he screamed "fria!!!" (cold) followed by "caliente"!! (hot).  And I'm like.... how should I put it: confused. And then Tavo came by and made me realize this was just the enemy's technique to confuse the troops! Jose knows that if the water is either too cold or too hot he will be pulled out immediately!! Smart uh? The trick is to make sure that the water is perfect... which I thought I did, until he started screaming. 

Anyway,  5 minutes into the bath tub and 2 dozen toys after,  Jose is having the time of life.  He's swimming, he's laughing, he's looooving it! Here the evidence: 

And some more: 

 And of course, Duna is totally into this bath tub shower thing. 
So then I went... ahhhh, ok. Mission Accomplished! But noooo.... I was missing part two, now the problem was to get him OUT of the bath tub! The water was getting cold,  the enemy was getting blue, but he persisted. He did not want out.  And  now he had recruited Maria Jose & Duna as allies!  So I had to call reinforcements (Tavo, who else! - I was totally outnumbered).  

Reinforcements laughed,  got the screaming enemy out of the bath tub and on to a towel, into clothes.  What can I say... mission accomplished? Honestly my mother knowledge will have to improve and soon.  :)

Here is the evidence: 

All out for a walk,  but of course,  mother nature didn't help because it was like -12C...; and they hadn't bring snow pants, so the walk was very very short. Oh! and by the way... I was the only one who didn't hit the shower that day... at least until like 7 pm!

Until next post, 

Oh wait !.  Another big development of the past two weeks. See for yourselves.

 
YES!!! I have lights!! or my house has lights... well... you know what I mean.  I finally did convince my husband to put the lights up! yay... double yay! This happened last week end.  May I add... we were working on putting the the lights up at -18C?  Had to go inside twice because I wasn't feeling my toes anymore!  But I didn't complain,  much unlike the hubby who did complain! That's until I not-so-nicely reminded him that he could have done this about a month ago when it was 12C and he refused... ahhhhhrrr husbands!

Anyway! so here's the result: Taddddaaaaa!!!

And may I add a picture of my beautiful tree? 

I know... I went a bit over the top with the tree but it's so beautiful! :)
Anyway... next post,  my book club.  - I will even throw in some reading recommendations.   

Until next post, 

Luz M.

It's Christmas & we're 3 months far into our "pregnancy"

First the snow, then the lights, and the next thing you know... it's Christmas!!! Yay!! Did I mention I loooove Christmas?  Snowing or not... is such a great time! There is so much music and lights and presents... and then there is time off from work! - Not that I don't like my work... but you know where I'm getting.

Of course my Christmas tree is up (since mid-November) and my gifts are 98% bought and  96% packed.  The house looks beautiful!  (inside).  Did I mention my husband has refused for 3 consecutive weekends to put up the lights outside?  I think this is becoming a tradition in this family.
The first weekend it was too nice to be putting lights up,  the second weekend it was too cold (do you want me to freeze? - he said),  and the third weekend, when temperature was perfect (-2 to 0 C) he was too tired.  Ahhhrrrr!! husbands!

Anyway... he's been asking me what I want for Christmas... and I keep telling him I want a baby (and my outside Christmas lights on!).  He pauses... one of those Tavo is thinking pause... (he sights) "Okaaayyy... no, seriously" - and he gives me the serious face.   And then I say... without a pause, "seriously,  I want a baby".  Statement that is followed by both looking at each other laughing nervously.  Which in our "couple" language means:  Yeahh... that would be a really, REALLY good Christmas present.  Even thought we know the adds of that happening within the next 3 weeks are pretty slim.  And that the airfair price to Colombia this time of the year is tripple the price of what it will be two months from now.   So even though we would be super duper happy... we realize the economical advante of a couple more months of waiting.   :)

In the mean time.... I've decided I am going to do my best to have a great Christmas.  Therefore the tree, the lights, the presents, the Christmas carols in english and spanish,  booking the family for dinner & breakfast the next day etc etc.  

And the treat of the year;  we will be having Tamales (yes... tamales santandereanos!!) the night of the 24th, which for my anglo friends is like a big empanada... but so so so much better!. Here's a picture:

It all started with  a joke I made one day when we were deciding about the food that evening, and my uncle's wife, Carmen,  decided she was going to give it a try.  So she will be cooking tamales for the family.  Yummy for my tummy!

Besides the Christmas preparations nothing much is going on (like that's not enough).  I went to a Christmas function last week and met a guy who went in my head from - I have nothing in common with you - to - you are totally interesting - in two seconds.  That happen when he told me he and his wife had adopted two Korean baby girls.  Of course he got my undivided attention for about 45 minutes.  It was so nice to hear somebody's experience like that! And he's such a proud father...

Oh! and FYI... I got an appointment with the VP of HR for the company  that I work for  (super yay!).
He's going to listen to my case for changing the adoption policy in our company.  He's going to listen to me for 45 min.  And of course... I'm getting more and more nervous by the minute!.  How do you plea a case based on what's right? When you can't base it on the law, or the policy, or the business case... but just on  the what is the right thing to do.
Interesting... specially because "right" might be different from different points of view. 
Which means that at least I need to make him see & feel things from my perspective... just enough to  generate some action on his part...  maybe I need advise from one of my lawyer friends in US and/or Canada.  Wow... a whole international team!  :)

And before I go,  another piece of news... our two good friends - the Hello Kitty worshipers from the cat vs. pooh's blog...got approved last week for their little girl.  So exiciting!!! Almost exactly 3 months after us... which might mean, if we are lucky, maternity leave at the same time! Geez that would be so convenient!.

Next week I promise, a peak at our house Christmasy looking... hoping Tavo gets the lights going on!
Until next post,

Luz M.