General Update

Last week I was so focused on sharing with you all about Colombia, and - must admit - frustrated with the delay in my translated documents that  I forgot to also tell you about some great news.  My dear hubby and me celebrated our 7th Wedding Anniversary on August 17th.

Yup, it's been 7 years.  Amazing... and great.  So, to bring up some memories, I went on a treasure hunt mission to my basement.  Objective: To find our wedding pictures, which have been lost since we moved to this house.
Just when I was getting scared (to be honest,  I was freaking out! ) I decided to take a look into our tax box (you know... that box where you put all your receipts and "notice of assessments"?)  And Voila! there they were.  By the way... I think the fact that they were hidden in the tax box does not mean anything.  - Just thought I would make it perfectly clear -. : )

Ok so here are some pics from that day.

This is us reading our vows, which I also found with the pictures. I went over to read Tavo his vows.  He claims he doesn't remember writing any of that ... and that's not his hand writing!! : )

And that's the part where you wear the rings.  So here is a story.  We didn't go with the traditional diamond in the engagement ring because we were saving for our trip to Canada.  However, two years ago, when we celebrated our 5th year anniversary,  Tavo secretly took my very scratch "diamond" to a jewelry store for replacement.  Of course,  he did come back with a diamond in my ring that according to him is "still showing up in his credit card statement"... and "you are not getting more expensive gifts until our 10th year anniversary"... ha ha... seriously people... it is NOT that big... he's just a cry baby. : )

This is our family at the wedding.  From left to right:  Ana Maria, my cousin and flower girl;  Tavo, me, my mom and dad,  my brother- Felix;  and my mother & brother in law - Marina & Diego.

And finally the happy couple with beautiful Colombian mountains in the background.  Are we cute or what?
Oh! and for those of you who are not very familiar with Colombian traditions,  here is one last picture.

This is from my "Serenata" - translation: serenade.  It is a tradition in our country that the night before the wedding the groom serenades the bride. So this is a picture of my family that day.  - I think my dad might have had more than one drink that night - ha ha.  Anyway,  Different kinds of music can be used.  Of course,  within the limits people! no rap, rock, electronic or similar... it's supposed to be romantic. Get it?

Anyway,  I am ashamed to tell you we're not big in remembering our wedding anniversary.  We normally remember about a week later (ooopss!).  However, this year, for whatever reason we both did remember.  I got delivered beautiful flowers to the office.  They smelled awesome! Although I was getting worried that they smelled so much some of my coworkers might not enjoy it as much as I did.

And Tavo got delivered an eatable fruit arrangement with chocolate covered bananas.  - Ok so here is the thing... Tavo LOOOOVEESSS bananas.  Those of you who know my husband and have seen him eat two or three bananas standing at the kitchen counter, know that this idea was a real treat from him!

So the first update- our wedding anniversary -  was pretty long. I'll keep it short now.  - Or so I will try.  

The second update is regarding the document saga.  We finally received our translated copies, put everything in the envelope and send it to Alberta Children & Youth Services.  (yay!!!)  Now, those nice people are supposed to forward them to Colombia where hopefully, everything will be okay and we will finally be approved.  Then, the docs will be send to ICBF's regional office in Bucaramanga for a match proposal. From that point on, depending on availability, time can fluctuate between 2 months (happy face) and 2 years (not so happy face). 

To be honest I have mixed feelings. On one hand, yes, we're closer (I know, I know); but on another hand,   I feel we have just wasted one full month re-doing some of the documents.  "Calm" me is starting to get a little anxious.  - Yes, I know, there is not one single curly hair of calmness in me, but I've managed pretty well.  Kept myself occupied,  doing paperwork,  blogging,  riding  a bike for 18 Km (again... what was I thinking!), but as I said before, patience in not one of my God given gifts.  So, if you have a minute while you're reading... send us good energies so that this time ICBF approves us and we can move on to wait for our little Colombianito(a).

The third update is regarding my Quest for Justice!! (drums in the background!).  I send my finally finished e-mail to HR again. It went like this:  "Dear HR department: Overall,  I think your family policy sucks..." Nahhh.. ha ha.  But I do have to tell you I wrote a very emotional two page first draft, which my lawyer friend summarized in two non-emotional, very business like, paragraphs.  And by the way, it must have taken her like 30 minutes.  Amazing!  I also talked to our new General Manager,  who happens to be a woman,  about my case.  She was extremely supportive. I have a feel things will move along faster if she calls a certain HR VP about it.  But is just a feel! hi hi hi...

And last update!! For those of you who are following my new found interest in running... Calgary was sunny again last week! (yay!) no imported smoke from BC & no rain - until today, but that's another story-.
So, my dear husband, my dog and I went running again yesterday.  Sadly, I didn't make it to the time I was supposed to according to my very own iphone personal coach.  :( 
I did try thought!! 30 seconds before the end I just couldn't go on and had to stop. So, I'm trying again tomorrow (because today is raining) and we'll see how it goes. 

Until next post!

LuzM.

Some information about Colombia & the concept of time - A discussion around Wikipedia

I'll like to start by apologizing with all my fans (ha ha...) for the delay in my weekly blog. We had a hail storm here in Calgary Sunday afternoon; the kind that makes you wonder if missing church in the morning was a good idea....  So, I kinda of got distracted.  But anyway... we survived ; )  however I can't say the same for some of  the flowers in the back yard. Yes, I have flowers! - did I mention my mom planted them? Anyhow, it hasn't been a normal summer.

Changing the subject, I have no update in regards of our documents. Last week we were happy that the embassy was so quick in sending us the legalized copies, however we haven't been able to get our hands in the translations yet.

So here is the story.  When we first got the docs (english) I scanned them and send them by e-mail to our translator.  This was about 3 to 4 weeks ago.  The master plan was that while the notarizing/legalizing happened here in Canada, our translator in Colombia would work on the docs.  Then my mom would send the docs to us just in time for us to put everything in an envelope and back to Colombia. The End. 

Well... that's me being a Canadian. I've been way to much time in this country and I forgot about the concept of time in Colombia.  So, let me explain that a bit better.   

In Wikipedia (which by the way is probably written by a nice North American someone or someones), time is defined as: "The continuum in which events occur in succession from the past to the present and on to the future".  Therefore my thought process. I would send the docs early (past) so that the translator would work on them (present), so that I would get them at the same time as the notarized ones (future).  See? a con-ti-nu-um... a sequence... simple.

Well, for whatever reason the concept of time in Colombia is rather fluid.  For example, if I got distracted today (present) - because it rained, or it was too hot, or we were in Carnaval... or  something else... (the something else depending on the subject performing the action)  we would do whatever we had to do today, tomorrow. But that's ok... because it's probably not urgent anyway, (no hay afan!) so my tomorrow plans really just magically moved to someone else's present tomorrow! And this happens for many many days, with no consequence whatsoever. Therefore the docs were never translated until I called to ask - what's up with the docs?-  Ooops.  Con-ti-nu-um, broken.  Rather interesting.  

But anyway... I kinda of miss some of that.  It keeps us Colombian relaxed.  haha.  : )

Besides time,  and the fact that I got mad at my translator  - Who's very good by the way, if it wasn't for this last delay - I thought it would be a nice idea to share with you some info about Colombia. 

Five important facts about Colombia:

1.Capital : Bogota (And by the way... this city is not near as close as you see in the movies... it's way cooler and nicer - 80% of the image you have in your head is Hollywood's influence).
2. Population:  45,586,233  (Yeap! more people that there is in all provinces of Canada, which is 32.2 M aprox).
3. Area: 1,138,910 Km2  (Not that much than the Province of Alberta - which is 661,848 km² ).
^4.  Location: Right in middle of the Equator. First country in South America with exit to both the Pacific and the Atlantic ocean.  
5. Language: Spanish.  Si amigos... espanol (not mexican)!   Es-pa-nol

 

But of course, you can get all that from Wikipedia.  You really don't need me to know that.  So, 

5 Interesting things about Colombia that Wikipedia won't tell you: 

1. Colombians feel very strongly about two things:  Futbol (the real one, the one you play with your feet) and Miss Colombia (the national pageant). 
2. Most Colombians love dancing. Merenge, Vallenato, Salsa... and pretty much every other beat you can think off.  By the way... I don't exactly agree with Wikipedia claiming that Salsa is originated in Cuba. Whoever wrote that obviously hasn't been to Cali .  The international capital of salsa (mira ve!)
So there is link for you to see.  If you get past the make up in the little girl (she needs a bit of advise on that matter)... OMG they can dance! (see link)

Kids in Cali dancing


3. Colombia, even thought is a developing country, rates as one of the places where people are most happy! Higher than the US or Canada. (It must be the lack of deadlines!)
4. In Colombia guayabo - means a hangover, hacer la tarea - means to have sex (literally, to do homework), hacerse el gringo - means to feign ignorance (literally, to act like an American), and tombo - is a police officer.
5. Did I mention we have awesome beaches?

So my friends,  that's my country and the country of my future Colombianito(a).

Until the next post, 

LuzM. 






   

Not pregnant, but expecting.... it's all about the weight

You could say that a woman that is working on baby names, has a finished nursery AND is gaining weight is pregnant,  well... you are WRONG!!  I am working on baby names, I have a finished nursery and I am gaining weight BUT I'm not pregnant...  however... I am expecting... (and might have a psychological pregnancy if you are judging by my weight!).  ha ha... Nahhh I'm exagerating... it's not that bad... I'm not growing a belly... just growing my butt... :)

Anyway, to counteract the psychological pregnancy caused by too many ice-creams,  I tried the diet, counting calories route for about two weeks and... uh... it didn't work.  See, I am a very disciplined person when it comes to pretty much anything... but when I get back from work at 6:00 in the afternoon and I have to wait for about an hour for dinner to be ready (maybe for two if I'm the one cooking) is bye bye diet. I'll eat whatever is at hand...  It's about survival!! :)

So I decided to change the strategy... let's start moving... any sport would work...  and what would be better than running!! I'll just burn the calories!! It's pretty convenient,  you don't need to go anywhere (like a gym) and all you need is pair of running shoes! You see, I have this friend at work who's a sports freak, really.  She's the type of gal who bikes for 7 hours straight and then goes for a short 2 hour run to "cool down"... seriously! So anyway, I asked her how to start jogging and she recommended I counted trees.  Yup... trees.  But not like counting trees to try to fall asleep... this is not sheep... this is trees. 

Next day, I tied Duna to my waist and asked Tavo to count trees with me.  Surprisingly, he happily accepted.  We started jogging on the sidewalk - we counted 3 trees and then we would walk one... (that's the part where we try to re-gain our breath) and then we started over.  That continued for about 30 minutes.  Yes people, you could say we were not in very good shape.  Anyway... everything was going peaches, I even went one step ahead and downloaded this app called Couch to 5K... which is like a personal trainer in your iphone.  Really cool stuff.   We were following our "program" and Duna was loooving it,  until last week when it started raining again.  And if you live in Calgary you know that we've had a pretty wet summer this year.  Uhhh... I don't jog in the rain so we took a weekly break.  

Well the problem is, during the week you eat the calories... and it rained... so today we took the decision that we would bike.  We thought that it would be fun to go from home to downtown and back, it would be nice, we would do it slowly, while enjoying nature.  Sooooo much fun, we would take the bike path right by the bow river, we would see the birds, and take in the clean air.... freak'n 18 Km of clean air!!  18 Km!!! Of course...  we were soooooo smart.  So smart, we forgot to check map quest before leaving...

Ok so let me tell you... 18 Km of cycling for someone that has issues breathing after 4 to 5 trees... is not funny. 

This is me the first time that we stopped.  I was "lost" and needed to take a break to look in the "map"... the distraction did work for a while until Tavo said: You tired? And I said... trying to breath at the same time... Nahhh meeee??? Ya think?

And this is Tavo laughing at me (and telling me "Tu si eres una nena"! - translation: you are a cry baby) and showing me how far we still were from downtown.  See the smile... (??) He doesn't know yet but there will be vengeance!

Finally, after about 4 hours and many more stops,  downtown was at close sight...  this is me celebrating.

Did I mentioned we didn't have any food on our way there? And it was about 3:00 pm with an empty stomach when we got there. 

But the day did get better.  We arrived to downtown and after two bottles of water we realized "A Taste of Calgary" festival was on.  So we did park our bikes somewhere close by (hoping someone would steal them), and bought something to eat.  (By the way... sadly nobody stole the bikes...)

And of course... good negotiator that I am, I did negotiate my way back home in the LRT.  What? did you think I was going to do the 18 Km back? You kidding? Enough burned calories for one day!

Until next post!


LuzM. 

PS. For those of you following the adoption paper's saga,  the Colombian Embassy totally amazed us by sending us the signed docs in less than a week.  So we have the ready the second set of documents, but no translations.  Our "legal representative",  or "international specialist" other ways known as my mom...(or future abuelita) is working on sending the translations to us next week so that we can add them to the originals,  take copies and forward to Alberta Children's Services which is supposed to send them to ICBF.  Hoping all of that will be ready in Colombia by the end of August.  More to come!!

My Quest for Justice

Part I
This is the story about a Colombian girl who wanted to move to Canada.  She met a Colombian boy who wanted to marry her and move North with her.  They did... (yes both, get married and move to a new country).  They quit their jobs, sold their furniture, packed two suitcases and their Colombian cat, and took a flight to a new life.  It was supposed to be easy, they would make it in no time. (yeahhh right!)

They quickly found out that starting a life in a new country wasn't easy... they got themselves a one bedroom apartment in the "immigrants" side of town... not exactly the best neighborhood, but hey... cozy enough to get by.  - Yup, that's me in our new place... "unpacking" all of our belongings. - Oh! and the "mattress" in the back was a loan...  anyway...

Tavo worked long hours, while I studied.  It was hard work and long hours for both of us but at the same time... it was kinda of  fun.  We didn't worry about money... because there was NO money!!  Just enough for rent and food. We were soooo broke I was happy I packed a lot of underwear when we left Colombia.  And of course.... there was the weather!! Do you think is easy for a Colombian to adjust to Canadian type of weather?! Let me tell you something.  Cold in Colombia is in a bad day,  in the coldest city,  maybe -3 to -5 Celsius.  Far (very very far) from the Canadian minus thirties.  Those temperatures are just unthinkable for a Colombian.  But then again... ice skating wasn't so expensive, so besides our toes going a shade of blue... it was sort of "cool".

Anyway... year after year life got better. I finished university and we both got a decent job.  We both love Colombia but Canada became "home".  The winter still comes back every year... but so does the summer! So our heart is really big enough for two countries to fit comfortable together. 

Yeap, that's us the day we became Canadian Citizens. (Nothing more Canadian than a Mountie eh?!)
We were both very proud and happy.  So, we celebrate Canada Day and 20 de Julio; we still sing "ven, ven ven... ven a nuestras almas, Jesus ven ven, ven ven" in Christmas and get presents from el nino Dios and Santa.  That's more presents for everyone, so why not?

The funny thing is I hardly ever felt discriminated against for being an immigrant. For having an accent or struggling with French or English.  That is the beauty about Canada.  You are not expected to stop being yourself and your differences are actually welcomed. 

Part II
So this is the story about a Colombian/Canadian girl who married a Colombian/Canadian boy.  They decided to grow their family through adoption.  The funny thing is, you see,  in the land of welcoming differences,  adoptive mothers are not considered to have the same rights as mothers that give birth to a child.  At least in what it concerns legal maternity/parental benefits.  Which is a boomer when you consider that most companies base their maternity/paternity leave and benefits in the standing law.  The company that I work for, being one of them. 

This company, although a good company to work for, has different rules and benefits for adoptive mothers or "natural" mothers.  But let's not get into the "naturality" of things for now.  I don't even think that's a word but bear with me for now. 

That's when my quest for justice started. (More draaamaaa!!)

The first step: Writing  to my HR department a very articulate letter (by the way, I made sure there were no spelling mistakes on that one!) with copy to my boss, my boss's boss and my boss's boss's boss.  In a summary, I requested to have the same benefits as belly-mommys do.  The result of that first letter read something like: Dear Mrs. Jaimes,  congratulations on the future addition to your family, however, we regret to inform you... blah blah blah. 

Strangely enough, I was not at all shocked.  I was thinking... well... you just described what the policy says... and I read the policy already... and the policy is wrong. 
So what does a nice girl like me do when someone says no to something I strongly believe in?  I get back into working on it,  a bit harder.  : )   Of course... that's me.   As long as I keep it professional, I have nothing to loose... so why not?

The second step: Request a meeting with my boss's boss's boss's boss.  I tell him the story about our family.  He sympathizes and recommends we bring HR to a future meeting and I can talk to them about my request.  So I organize the meeting. 

The third step:  The day for the meeting arrives.  I present my case to my HR rep but the lady who recommends changes to policies never makes it to the meeting.  My HR rep takes notes and asks me to send him a summary of my request and the justification behind it.  It kinda of feels I'm not getting anywhere... but then again... I got to dance the dance of corporate chain of command.  

So I'm working on my fourth step. The summary e-mail that will help my HR rep to present my case to the policy team.  The good part is I got myself an awesome team to help me.  These two ladies helping me write these letters are two of the smartest cookies in town... one of them is a lawyer so she provides the "legal" view and the other one has negotiated some of the biggest deals in the company so she provides the right corporate "persuasion".  And most of all, they both keep me from getting too emotional... which I tend to do when something really matters.  And they will both get chocolates this Christmas... (from el nino Dios which is even cooler)..
Anyway, this is really women power people!!  Brains and of course... beauty.. (yes they are both totally hot!) ha ha!!
- And for my single male friends out there; sorry but they are both taken..-  What? did you think women like that go around and about lonely for a long time? You kidding?

Oh and the question about how there are "natural" and ... what "un-natural" mothers! Give me a break!! Haven't you watch the discovery channel?! Many species adopt other female's babies... humans being just one of them.  So can we change the language? And I am not being too sensitive... and you know why? because I don't want my Colombianito(a) to feel like an "un-natural" baby.  Come on!!!

So before I get too emotional (neither of my friends are here and Tavo is watching some war movie, therefore not paying attention to me) I got to go. Wish me luck !.

Until the next post,

Luz M.

Swimming in an Ocean of Paperwork & almost Drowning

For those of you who are thinking about international adoption and have read/heard about the ocean of paperwork to be completed I have three words for you:  It's all true!!  (or three and a half -'s - if that can be counted as a word)...

So in a case like ours,  you start by filling in the requirements of Alberta Children Services.  That means complete income info, medical info, police clearance etc, etc, etc.  That really doesn't take more than a couple of weeks (assuming you are very disciplined).  Then you put the docs in folder... which is the start of your dossier.  Our little one had a folder from the very beginning.  He/She is very organized. 
And yes... in case you haven't noticed I am a type A personality. 

But the foremost important piece of document you require at the first stage is the Home Study. The Home Study takes normally from 4 - 6 weeks to complete and it is basically an - all about you and your family document - written, signed and stamped by your social worker.  At the end of the interview process she/he makes a recommendation for you to be approved to adopt a baby, or not. 

By the way, I have to add that our social worker totally rocks!! Her name is Liz.  (I won't disclose more info 'cause she doesn't know I'm writing about her... I could get in trouble people!).  At the beginning of the process, Tavo mentioned it was kinda of weird having someone you hardly know sitting in your living room asking questions about you and your family.  I, on the other hand, was okay with full disclosure... nooo problem!! That's me... therefore I am also the one writing the blog.  But anyway... going back to Liz... she was very nice,  she took the weirdness out of the interviews, was very helpful and really speed up the process. 

And let me tell you something else... having a nice social worker is really important! I've heard about awful experiences which made me be thankful for our good luck! Liz is getting not only a Christmas Card but also chocolates from us this year.  Other social workers... are only getting nasty nicknames... or so I hear. 

So after the home study and first stages of paperwork are done,  the package is send to Alberta Children Services.  They take from 6-8 weeks to get back to you with a final decision.  You are either approved or not.  That time did seem like an eternity for us... 8 weeks!!! 2 full months!!  Let me tell you what the 8 week lead time means.  It means you have to go back to the doctor and get police and interpol clearances again because they expire after 6 months.  You know... anything can happen in 6 months... you can become a federal criminal during that time, and the entire CSI team, (yes, the New York, Vegas, LA and all of their friends) might be looking for you... so,  yes... we had to go back to the doctor and renew our police clearances again.   

Then the Colombian requirements have to be completed.  And that is of course my friends... more paperwork! Psychological examination (in case we are nut jobs and our social worker after 4 months of interviews hasn't really noticed) and a bunch of other fun stuff.  Although I have to say... our psychologist will also be getting chocolates this Christmas.

Oh and of course!! The translations!!! There you go... Ocean of paperwork multiplied by two. 

So when it's all done you have to get your docs notarized by an approved notary in the province, then legalized by Alberta Justice (basically AB Justice states that the notary is actually a true one), and then legalized again by the Colombian embassy (which basically states that the legalizing in Alberta is true).  That notarization and legalization times two takes about 4 more weeks.

And this is what you get: 

And this is only one copy.  - In our case, we require 3 of the same (so paperwork times 3).
I could tell you many stories about this pile of documents... funny ones and not so funny ones.  Like the time when the admin person at Alberta Children Services was supposed to send the full dossier back to Calgary and mistakenly send it to Bogota... oh yes... yes... it is true.  When I tracked the document I realized is in freak'n Miami!! But let's not go there...

This blog isn't intended to make you sleep so I'll keep it short.  No stories about the docs.  What I can tell you is that when you are done there is only one thing.... HAPPINESS!!  The sky seems more blue and the sun shines... and the birds sing while the flowers look pretty... even if is 11:30 pm and you are so tired of looking at documents that your eyes hurts and even the dog is bored.  

Pure BLISS,  even if your husband is ready to kill you because you made him go through the list for a third time (in case something is missing) and on top of all you still have the energy to want to take a picture of his happy moment.

But of course... that didn't happen to me.
(Yes... he's a saint. He even smiled and everything,  just don't tell him I said that. )

So if you haven't been following:
(((Alberta Paperwork x 3) + (Colombian Paperwork x 3 ) + translations) x 3 copies =   An UPS envelope.

And that my friends is the engineer in me.  : )
And you engineers... stop going back to see if the equation is right!!! ha!! You are soooo caught!! ha ha ha...
Besides, it's 11:00 pm!! :)

The good news is the envelope left and the good guys at the ICBF Colombia reviewed it really fast.  The not so good news is that they requested a couple changes to our approval letters.  We just received the letters again last Friday and are now going through the notarization times 3 process + translation again, before we can send them back to Bogota. 

I'll keep you all posted!

Until the next post, 

LuzM.